Spring/Summer 2021 | A conversation with Christina Lecuyer

 

 

Christina believes that for one to experience an amazing life, you begin by deciding that you want to change something in your life, have faith, and act firmly on your decisions until things work out.

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A conversation with Christina Lecuyer

Today’s Exclusive Guest.

Who is Christina?

Christina Lecuyer is a former professional golfer turned confidence and success coach, motivational speaker, and host of the Decide It’s Your Turn podcast. Through one-on-one coaching, mastermind programs, immersive events such as Decide It’s Your Turn Live, and Decide It’s Your Turn the retreat, Christina helps you shatter limiting beliefs, become more confident, and hold you accountable for creating and executing your most powerful, profitable and purposeful life.

 

The start of the journey

People could look at my life now and be like, Oh my gosh, you have such an amazing life. You’re so lucky, you’re a professional golfer, you modeled. You did all these things. But I always say two things happened to me when I was 18 years old; one – I got really good looking, two – I got really good at golf. So many people would look at that time in my life and think, how amazing, how lucky, how great you are. And those two things happening to me at 18 years old, were lovely and wonderful. Except for the fact that for almost a decade, from 18 years till about 27 to 28, I became addicted to the external validation that came with being good at golf and being good looking.

So I went to college. I played professional golf. I worked in the television industry. I was on this roller coaster of external validation. After all, I was so pretty and skinny and so smart. I had the greatest job. And I hang out with all these people. I was basing my self-worth on what I did versus who I was, and how I looked, and how much money I had. It was a very, very dark place for me. I had a horrible eating disorder because I truly believed that if I kept getting skinnier and staying at size double zero, I would get the modeling jobs and the television jobs. I thought that guys would hire me to play golf with their clients if I looked a certain way.

I had to be really good at golf in order to have success because everyone told me if I played on the LPGA Tour, I was going to have all the success in the world. Because I was a good-looking blonde with dual citizenship from America and Canada. I was told my life would be perfect, amazing and I would be happy if I did these things. My whole life was concentrated on being good at golf and being good-looking. And, and to me, that meant being really thin and giving myself all of these horribly unrealistic expert expectations of what I had to do in order to attain that.
So for 10 years, I just hated myself. I always thought the next thing, the next advert girl, the next dollar, the next job was going to make me happy. It was 100%, not the truth. When I was about 28 years, I sort of had this ‘Come to Jesus moment’ where I knew that there were other people in life that were actually happy that had way less than me. It was at that moment that I really decided I needed to do something in order to heal myself and get myself out of the situation that I was in.

I think we all have these moments. Anyone who listens to my podcast, who’s on the journey to healing, who’s ready to decide that they need to do something different, I truly believe these are the people that are obviously attracted to me. Because they know that where they are, there is a journey to get them to where they want to be. This is probably closer to where I am now because I’ve gone through the valley. I’ve gone through the healing. I’m continuously doing that because I am nowhere near where I need to be.

When I was 27, 28 years old, I knew that there were other people in the world that were happier with a lot less. So I had to figure out what that looked like. It was about changing my mind. I truly believe when you decide to change your mind, you change your life. I read every book, I listened to every podcast, I went to every seminar, I hired all the coaches, I went to the masterminds, I did all the things. Slowly but surely, 10 years later, from 10 years of crap to 10 years of trying to really change my life, I’ve created a life in a business. I absolutely love every single day. I’m so honored and blessed to say that this is my life. Some days, it’s an absolute shit show. Other days, it looks horrible and awful. And it’s hard and I want to run away and throw my computer in the pool and say, I’m done with this. But then I wake up the next morning because I know, this is what I believe God put me on the planet to do.

 

Decide, Believe and Act

The three things that I say in my coaching practices business – decision, faith, and action. Every single thing that has radically changed in my life for the positive is the decision, the faith, whether you believe God, source energy, whatever it is. For me, it’s God. But the faith that there is something greater, something better, something that is going to guide your journey. And then the action. I believe that there’s a big difference between saying something, and deciding it and having unwavering faith. But the step that I think a lot of people miss is the action part. You can say things all you want, but you have to do your part. I always say I do my part, God does his part.
Getting from where I took a lot of decisions, a lot of faith, and a lot of action. When you have those three things, you can change anything and everything. I wanted to be loved and accepted. That’s what everyone wants. It doesn’t matter if it’s an eating disorder, drug addiction, sex addiction, whatever it is that you’ve got, most people are doing it to numb the pain of not feeling loved. Overall, human beings want to feel loved, appreciated, and accepted. But when you boil it down, it’s love. I wanted to be loved as a human being. I felt that how I would get my love was getting the jobs, the contracts, the money, and the opportunities.

 

How do you love yourself?

I was recording a podcast with one of my girlfriends, Lori Harder, she said “Indecision is still a decision.” I was like, Bravo, Hallelujah. Amen. If you’re reading this and thinking, how do I actually love myself? Let’s be honest, when you’re in the midst of that, you hate yourself, let alone love yourself and don’t care what it is. You really do not like yourself. Perhaps someone’s asking themselves, how do I go from absolutely hating myself to loving myself? I am that person. I absolutely hated myself. I was so, so, so mean to myself. I would never treat anything on the planet the way I treated myself. But now, I truly love myself, internally. I like my life. I’m very grateful for everything that I have and I wouldn’t trade my life with anyone. How did I do that? How does someone do that? It is the long game strategy. How you initially start is every single day you make one small decision. You take one small action.
So many people, especially in the online space, look at people’s highlight reels and think they could never do that. 10 years ago, I could never do half the things I do today. But 10 years ago, it had to start with one small decision. It had to start with one hard thing. It had to start with building that confidence. I believe confidence is a muscle. And the only way to build a muscle over time is you show up every single day and do it. That’s the reason why I’m so confident. That’s the reason why I went from absolutely hating myself to really truly liking myself and, and I don’t even look closely as good as I used to. But I really like myself today because it started with a small decision every single day.

 

What about gratitude?

If you do not have gratitude for something, you will find everything wrong with the world. We’ve got so unbelievably obsessed with everything that’s wrong. I do not give a shit how much money you have or what you look like. Everyone has something to be grateful for. I tell people who are new to gratitude, that gratitude will change their life because it changed mine. How many people do you know that say that “I hate my job? I hate my life”? If you switch that every single day for a year, you would be blown away by what would happen. I do my gratitude every single day. I’ve written in my gratitude journal every day for probably seven or eight years.
I’ve actually changed from writing gratitude every single day. For the last two years or so, I’ve switched to not allowing my feet to hit the ground without saying a minimum of 10 things. Literally, when my alarm goes off, I just lay there and I start telling myself all the amazing things. What’s really cool is a lot of people would think perhaps looking at our lives or our situation in order to have so much to be grateful for.

It’s so interesting that the things that are always on my gratitude list are the craziest, tiniest, smallest things that every single one of us has access to. I am so grateful every single day for the sunrise. There’s nothing better to me. I’m so grateful for going for a walk and hearing the birds and smelling spring right now. It’s the greatest smell ever. If you’re where I live in Arkansas, the pollen is out. I just love it. I’m obsessed with the smell of my husband. I’m obsessed with coffee. I am so grateful every single morning for my coffee. I’m grateful for my clients. It just changes everything. So if you’re looking for one healing practice that every single person on the planet has free access to, it is gratitude. What you focus on you find. If you are the most negative person ever, trust me, you will find all the negative stuff in the world. But if you practice gratitude, it’ll change your life.

 

From hiking Mount Kilimanjaro to always saying ‘Yes’

If you are more positive, you will always find an answer. With a gratitude-filled positive mindset business, there’s always a way to ‘Yes’. I hiked Kilimanjaro to raise money for a children’s hospital in Canada. It was one of the greatest experiences of my life. To say that I was nervous before I started would be an understatement. I literally signed up and said yes, and was on the mountain within one month. I had never slept in a tent before in my life. I ordered everything on Amazon in two weeks. It was literally one of the hardest things ever, but it was one of the greatest experiences of my life.

One of the coolest parts about hiking Mount Kilimanjaro was the 12 people that I was on the mountain with. I became really good friends with a guy named Todd. He and I broke off one day, and we were just hiking as the two of us and we talked for hours. It’s so amazing how deep you can go with people on a mountain in two seconds. It’s one of the greatest things ever. It’s right up my alley. Todd is a very successful human being. He has something that he calls PMA – a positive mental attitude. He said to me that there’s always a way to ‘Yes’. Everything that has ever manifested in his life, that he’s created is because he’s always found a way to ‘Yes.’ So whatever you want in your life, in your business, there’s always a way to ‘Yes.’ If you believe that, if your mindset is that, there is no way in hell this won’t work. I will always be finding a way to ‘Yes.’ I will always have a positive mental attitude. Even if it doesn’t happen the way that you think it should happen, it usually happens.

I recently sent a book called A Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes to a client. She said that she didn’t have time. She didn’t have space in her life. But for a year, she said yes to everything. And I recently had a woman on my podcast. She’s a former client. She lived in Los Angeles. She had a very successful therapy practice. She’s a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. And she literally shut down her thriving six-figure practice, divorced her husband, and said yes to every opportunity there was. A short time later, she is now living in Paraguay. She is the happiest human you’ll ever meet. She’s remarried to a Paraguayan. She makes great money each month in Paraguay as an online therapist still based in California. She just said yes to everything. No matter what it was, she always said yes. The minute she switched her mindset to ‘I will always say yes’ it changed her life.

 

The magic in healing practices

Something that I don’t often talk about is, before I started changing my mind and life, I had stomach and back problems for so many years. I remember one year, I went to every stomach doctor there was. They gave me upper scopes, lower scopes, MRIs, and there was “nothing wrong with me.” I definitely believe a lot of it was from my mind, 100%. I do think there were a few things that I probably needed to change. And obviously, for years of treating my body like dog shit, that had a big part of it. But it’s amazing to me now how very rarely do I get stomach aches and very rarely does my back go out anymore, unless I’m under a very high-stress situation.
If you’re reading and researching and listening to stuff about what healing practices there are and how you can truly heal yourself, I do believe there is such magic in healing your mind, healing your thoughts, and healing your heart. I don’t have stomach problems and back problems very often anymore. Funny that I never had surgery. I have never taken any pharmacy pills or prescription medicine in my whole entire life. I’ve probably taken five pills my whole entire life, including Tylenol, I just don’t do it. And sure enough, those issues very rarely happen anymore. And I truly do believe it’s the power of changing your mind, changing your thoughts, changing what you focus on.

I believe that Western medicine is something that we all need at some point in life. But I also believe that the massive amount of healing practices including Harmonyum are magical in creating a life and in a calmer, healthy state for ourselves. The one thing that people always say to me is, how do I fix myself? I’m like, Hi, I’ve been on this journey for 10 years and I’m far from close to there. When I die is when the whole fixing myself comes to a conclusion. But until that time, I have to be open, I have to be willing to continuously learn, continuously be able to heal myself. I still go to therapy, I’m still working on all sorts of things. It doesn’t mean that I’m not fantastic at what I do. But at the same time, I always want to improve myself because I know that when you heal yourself or when you’re in the journey of healing yourself, it leads to just such a much better life.

Making the decision to stay for as long as it takes
When you make the decision that you are going to take this practice and do whatever it is that you decide to do, make a decision that you’re in it. My mom and I are in therapy together. She called me after the first two or three sessions and said, “I just don’t know, I just thought we would just talk about a couple of things and solve the problem.” Obviously, she’s new to this world. I said to her, “Mom, here’s the thing, I have decided that I’m in it for as long as it takes. So if you can change your mindset and say, ‘we’ve decided this is now a thing, I’m here even if it takes two weeks, two days, two years, 20 years,’ if you make a decision, and say ‘until it works then we’re all good.”

So many people come into something like ‘let’s buy a 10 session package to Harmonyum.’ Well, sometimes it takes 100, sometimes it takes two. But if you make the decision that that’s the decision, and you’re in it until it works out, you’ll probably find a lot more healing and a lot faster, because you’ve made the decision that it’s going to work no matter what, and will put a little less stress on it. So for me, I’m in this, this is my life, I’m consistently working on myself, there’s no finish line, and I’m good with it. And it makes the mental part of it so much easier.
I was recording a podcast with a guy named Omar Elattar for his podcast called The Passionate Few. He used the example of the richest person in the world at the time – Jeff Bezos of Amazon. For a really long period of time, Jeff Bezos was the poorest person on the planet. He had the most amount of debt, billions and billions of dollars worth of debt. If he had looked at his journey in the beginning and said, this is never going to work, I am the poorest person, Amazon would have never become what it is today. I don’t care what you think about Amazon, good, bad, ugly, whatever. It’s just an example. But his mindset was the long game strategy. Now, sure enough, he’s the richest person. I think that that is just a really great analogy of playing the long game. You don’t quit when something doesn’t work right off the bat. You may be the poorest person on the planet for 10 years, 20 years, but at some point in time, that pendulum is going to switch. And sure enough, you become the richest person on the planet. So if you’re in it, stay in it until it works, and chances are, it’ll happen a lot easier.

There’s so many beautiful lessons on the healing journey. There are going to be some really hard moments. A lot of times we believe it’s going to be so good and we put exactly what we think “good” means in this little box. But I believe that God’s like laughing at that and saying, you of little minds, this could be such an abundance. As an example, when I was in my golf career, I used to think that if I got this television job that I wanted so badly, life would be so amazing. I think about that now and it literally makes my heart stop. That would have been the worst thing that could have possibly happened because I wouldn’t have this life right now. I think that that’s a beautiful thing to remember. Oftentimes, we forget we have such a little awareness of what it could be. If you’re willing to start your healing practice, to play the long game, oftentimes God is going to show you much better than you could have possibly ever imagined.

 

Decide It’s Your Turn coaching

My brand is the Decide It’s Your Turn brand. I truly do believe the decision, faith and action will change your life. I’m very blessed and honored to say I have such a diverse group of clients. If someone ever joins one of my masterminds, or one-on-one coaching program, or my network, they’ll find it interesting what a diverse group of people that I work with. But overall, every single person that I work with, knows that they want something more than what they have. And in that regard, whether it’s the confidence, whether it’s the business, whether it’s a relationship, whatever it is, most people are attracted to me because they know that I was at one point in my life not having this abundant, amazing life that I do have now. They want an abundant, amazing life. A lot of times people don’t feel confident or worthy or have the strategy on how to get from A to B. I provide that for my clients and my people. I’m so so honored and blessed to be able to do that.

 

My biggest fear

Time is my biggest fear on the planet. I have a fear of running out of time. It’s so interesting I was asked this question before and immediately my answer was time. For a big portion of my life, which makes me want to tear up, I didn’t know if I wanted to live. That’s where I was. And now I think about my life and time as the greatest asset on the whole entire planet because I have so much that I want to do. Whether that literally goes for a walk with my husband, or travel the world or work with more people or spend more time with family and friends. Time is the greatest asset on the planet. The thing that scares me the most is running out of time. I’m not afraid to die for I know where I’m going, but I also don’t want to go anytime soon.

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